Monday, June 9, 2014

Let's Stop Lying.

          All of us do it. It is almost a necessary at times. It happens every day all day. Lying. "Little white lies" are some of our favorites. What about the author making money off of a book about being stolen and forced into sexual slavery? Lie. What about the Pulitzer Prize winning individual that made up stories of being in the Vietnam war? Lie. I am not going to say any names, that would be too much like pointing fingers. Lying is a very powerful thing. It can spare someone's feelings, it can get you out of a problem, it can get you praise, and it can even save our lives sometimes. Lying for personal gain is wrong. Not everyone does it for this same reason. Lying is rooting deep into our behavior.
         It's not necessarily the lie we are focused on. It's the reaction we expect to get from the lie. Babies start lying as early as six months old. This doesn't mean babies are getting up telling us the sky is falling. These lies are mainly crying and laughing. Even if something isn't funny or bothering them they will laugh or cry for the attention they get from it. As we get older this idea stays the same. We lie because our brain has calculated how it thinks society is going to react to the lie. Whatever that reaction is happens to be something our mind needs. If we are sad and no one seems to care we might be pushed to get attention by making up sad stories about our past. If we want to laugh with someone we might make up a funny story about our past to share in laughter. We have to try and stay away from this. It starts with the liar and the last person they lie to.
          If you find yourself about to lie or lied already, stop. Think. It's something we don't have much time for nowadays, but we need to make time for it. Be brave, admit to your lie, and move on. To the ones that see the lie work with the person. Don't expose them and tell everyone how much of a liar that person is. Help that person receive some of the emotion they are looking for. If they are lying about sad stories they probably need an ear. Hear them. If they are making up an action-packed life you know is false, give them some attention. After a time they will probably expose the lies on their own. If not get them help. Remember the liar is trying to stay away from negative attention, so make every step towards getting them help a positive one. As always, this is just the opinion of one man.

Psychology today has several articles on deception. I used this one for some of the information for this article. Check it out.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-dolphin-divide/201309/why-do-we-lie

Here is a link to a website explaining compulsive lying and it's treatment. If the compulsive liar is someone close to you, you might want to check this link out before suggesting treatment.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-dolphin-divide/201309/why-do-we-lie